This has been a sad week for my family

My son is 13 years old and he had a little girlfriend in school. On Monday evening of this week she was struck by a car and she she passed away yesterday. She was only 14 years old. He is taking this very, very hard, which is to be expected.

I'm just at a loss here for words, this is just so wrong for parent to have to bury their child. As parents most of the time, we can explain things to make things seem right. This time, I can't find the words to make any of this seem right.

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Permalink Reply by Gildedcagedesign on March 7, 2008 at 1:06pm: Ouch, so sorry to hear! Hugs to your son. Time will heal and a lesson on death will help in the long run! Unfortunate but something we will all face! Take care of yourself also, your son needs you.
Robin; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by LuAnn Smith on March 7, 2008 at 7:24pm: Oh patternshop, I am so sorry. It's such a hard thing to understand and so hard to know how to help your son. There really are no words to make it right. Just be there and listen is all you can do. Has their school offered counseling? It's just tragic really.... My heart goes out to you and your son...

LuAnn; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by DandelionGirl - Valerie on March 7, 2008 at 7:33pm: I'm sorry to read about this, Patternshop. Don't know what to say - I never do. I can only send hugs your way. The lesson for me personally is that it made me think a little deeper about my friends and family and to remember to treasure every moment - not easy sometimes the way relationships and temperaments go.

Hope the healing begins soon for you, your son, the little girl's family and all this incident has affected.

Valerie; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Gabreial on March 7, 2008 at 8:36pm: Wow, I'm so sorry to hear, I'm at a loss for words myself. I think we each offer up what we can and I can offer you prayers and in the hopes that time will heal and that God can give you guidance to help you through this difficult time with your child. I can't even imagine as a parent what both you and her parents must be feeling.

Gabreial; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Patternshop on March 7, 2008 at 9:08pm: Thank you all for your kind words and prayers, it really does mean a lot!

The school has called in grief counselors, but today we didn't send him to school with everything that has happened.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Elaine on March 8, 2008 at 6:59am: So very sad, my thoughts are with you, your son and the the family of the little girl.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by christina on March 8, 2008 at 1:24pm: I a so sorry you as a family have to deal with this. It is very hard to understand it when you are so young. I actually lost a boy "friend" when I was in 8th grade. He was accidentally shot by his best friend when they were out hunting. It was very difficult, but I did make it through and it was a good lesson on life. Prayers being sent up for your family and the little girls too. Much love and blessings.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by The Nostalgic Nugget - Amber on March 8, 2008 at 2:32pm: Ouch. My prayers are with the families.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Green Squirrel on March 8, 2008 at 6:01pm: My prayers too are with the family. You just never, ever imagine that something like that is going to happen to you or your family or espeically to someone so young. Just keep allowing him to talk...it's the only way he'll be able to work through everything going on inside of him...I'm sorry...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by TrueColorsForYou on March 8, 2008 at 8:53pm: Thoughts & Prayers and Deepest Sympathy to your son, you & the child's family.
Be willing to listen or just be close by.
Suggestion....Keep close to your son and with him at any/all services, etc... Is there a wake and are you attending? If so, try to find out any 'details' in advance ... see below ...
Does he have close friends that also knew the girl? It's difficult 'at the school' I think , vs. with closer friends/family in smaller groups... Even if you're close by, it was helpful to have my son have company of other close friends or go to their homes, too....

My son (now 18) lost his best friend & competitive swimming teammate -both had just turned 14.
A SUMMER lake celebration of the teams USA state meet wins the week before... Horrific accident ~ my son was a passenger on a jet ski (driven by another best friend) that hit the friend who passed away straight on - he'd just fallen off another jet ski driven by his brother. It happened in a wink of an eye and no one was going fast (although most parents did not 'know' they were on the jet skis), but head injuries are unforgiving. He was swiftly brought to shore & aided by paramedics. But my son watched his friend & the aftermath... he passed on 'before his eyes' (the paramedics had said he was 'stableized', but there was no brain activity for 2 days).

There is what is called the 'Center for Grieving Children' in our area. Perhaps there is something similar in your area or close by? Children who were at the lake & other close friends/swimmers were welcome. They had 'prayers' of choice, lit individual candles (my son still has his), painted pottery, broke it & glued it together, made a large bowl as a tribute to give to the family which they all signed and many other things.

My son wanted to attend 'all' services. I explained about wakes, assured him that he could stay in another room (not visit the casket) and that I was sure the casket would be closed due to the injury. we attended together ... a line that went for blocks on a hot summer afternoon... Son insisted on visiting the casket & saying 'goodbye' - the casket was Not closed and the boy wore a baseball cap... I don't know if this in the long run was good or bad but it was a surprise and my son rambled about what a 'terrible job' they'd done, etc....we also attended the funeral and reception.

My son did go to additional counseling and the Center for Grieving Children helped a lot. He did not swim competitively for a couple years. We think of his friend still almost daily and 'keep' our thoughts & prayers with Jared and his family. It's been 5 years this summer.

Keep your family close and enjoy each day to it's fullest... whenever possible. Count your blessings for each day you have your family and they are happy & healthy. I am far from 'perfect' in this regard, but think of this more often when I view things as 'hard times'.

Sorry to ramble with my story, but thought a couple points may be helpful.

Sincerest Prayers & Thoughts
Laura; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Cynthia Hallum on March 8, 2008 at 11:01pm: Sorry about the loss. I will keep your son in my thoughts and prayers and the family of the little girl. It is sooo hard to understand and hopefully something good will come from this tragic event. Hard to see the good when we are soo sad. Hard to go through stuff like this in our life. cindy; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Vintage Goodness on March 8, 2008 at 11:02pm: I am in Columbus also, and I think I heard about this on the news... so incredibly sad! I'm so sorry...; ▶ Reply to This